American Exceptionalism

Thanks to you, my work colleague Ross Brenneman, I have lost 5 minutes of my life that I can never get back. Now, I bring you this treat.

He sent around the office an images from "Heidi Hits Children" (@heiditron3000, which linked me to this guy's blog on Tumblr. Which let me to this:

Isn't this like a sign out of "Mad Max?"

Which in addition to reminding me of why I kinda hate my hometown—because it was covered in stripmalls with signs like these—sent me to the good people at Google to look up "The Decorative Diaper." I mean, for godsakes, what could that be, except for what a child does to the insides of a diaper? 

From the pages of the
Decorative Diaper,  a diaper trike

But no. It led me to this Facebook page for the Decorative Diaper business (I mean #1, not #2).

You need to "like" this page, because the lady taking the time to create monstrosities like these needs support. It scares me what kind of time suburban moms have on their hands. I cannot believe that women with full time jobs create things like this.

But the fun doesn't stop there, oh no, I want to encourage you to look up sports lingerie.

Frankly, now that I think of it…is sports lingerie…jockstraps? What exactly could the creator of that shop have been thinking? This is American exceptionalism. Exceptionally, exhaustively innovative.

Maybe this is what my right wing friends mean when they say,

"America better innovate or die."

 I think I understand now. I hope you find the time to look up these other stunning suburban businesses in Burbank, California, including Nana's Catheteria. Youch!